I always swore against it...but here I am, ranting...my apologies.

So I was cleaning up the house in prep for the two thanksgiving dinners our family is hosting (one for each side of the family), and I was working in my sewing room/ wrapping room/ workout room and putting patterns and fabric away when something dawned on me.

I'm not great at anything.

Sure, I'm good at a couple of things (music, art, school), but there's not one thing I'm great at. I always come in second place.

I always make major mistakes when I sew to the point where it's not really wearable, but then one girl who has about the same amount of experience as I made a beautiful dress OUT OF PAPER. Another girl with NO sewing experience recently created a cute corset dress that looked perfect. Corsets are hard to make...

I may be in the top choir at school, but I always lose the solos to girls who aren't nearly as dedicated to the choir as I am and constantly show up late to class.

I've played piano for ten years and I'm still not as good as the ones who've played it for seven and can memorize moonlight sonata and play it perfectly.

I've been a hard working artist for three years on deviantART, but I'm still nowhere near as good as the artist who has over 20,000 pageviews and hundreds of watchers after only THREE MONTHS.

Sure, I got a 27 on my ACT, but what about my friend who didn't put in nearly as much study time and tutoring as I and ended up with a 30?

It makes it hard for me to want to pursue anything. Especially when I have a brother who is a spectacular Football AND basketball player who is super smart and is getting the solos in choir.

I feel kind of...well...useless. But that's what I get for being such a perfectionist. If I'm not great, I don't feel worthy, I guess.

Sorry, this journal is kind of a waste of time. There are so many other people out there who have much worse going on, and here I am, rambling about not being "good enough."

Sorry. My rant is over.